Four little ones, and I am sure that my baby-making days are over.
Right now, this is something I am entirely comfortable with.
No more babies.....great.
To be honest though, the thought of making that a definite still terrifies me. Taking action to ensure that there will no more little people inhabiting this baby-factory seems so final, so permanent.
Hubby and I have discussed this subject over and over. If the truth be told, he had made himself an appointment for the 'ouchy snippage' before we conceived Oscar. Whoops.
He thought he was done. I had other ideas and managed to convince him that we needed one final addition. Win!
Now though, we're both on the same page. Our family is complete. So why is it so scary still?
All the literature that we've read suggests that it really isn't so ouchy. Hubby has already given me the green light and even bravely offered to have it done under local anaesthetic to get on the shorter waiting list. There are lots of pros that I can think of, not least that I wouldn't ever need to use birth control again. Surely I should be convinced already.
*shrugs*
I guess my fear comes from recalling how desperate I was to have our fourth baby. It was an all consuming, crazed desperation that took up virtually every waking thought. I'm sure part of that desperation was borne from Hubby's resolve that we were already complete. The more he told me he was done, the more I begged.
Maybe its similar to when I was giving up smoking (stay with me people.....). I know that if I had cigarettes in my bag, I could stop myself from smoking them. For some people it would have been impossible to resist, but for me just knowing the option was there made it easier to find the willpower to abstain.
Maybe its a similar concept. Whilst I know the option of having more children is one we can entertain, I won't feel a crazy need to run out to the shops and buy one....wait....wrong analogy. You know where I'm coming from though, right?
I guess this is one we need to ponder on for a while longer. Surgery is a big step.
If any of you have taken the big step of sterilisation or vascectomy and have any advice, I'd love to hear it!
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I'll be honest. I don't really agree with sterilisation. I don't think it right to actively permanently destroy a working system. Part of that stems from a fear that I would feel differently in the future (and I know a LOT of ladies who have endured change of heart TTCing after a vas reversal), and basically, we don't know the future. There are potential side effects, such as long term pain (not common, but it can happen) and I personally think that if contraception works, then use that rather than go for a permanent method. It's reversible, for a start :)
ReplyDeleteReply to Sarah - You're absolutely right. We don't know what will happen in the future and whether that would change our views, hopes or dreams.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I'm left trying to find a form of contraception that suits me....thats a whole other story. :)